Monday 01

Alas, a dreamless sleep would be asking too much. I dreamt that Donald Trump (who I will know refer to as He Who Should Not Be Named, or HWSNBN) ordered me to bring him magazines. Yes. Magazines. So I brought him some and started showing them to him (the meek, polite person I am) and he slammed his hand down on the back of my neck, pinned me to the table and yelled “This is NOT the right one!!!!” And, next thing y’know, I’m being capsized out of a boat by a shark. Dreams. Dontcha just love ’em?

I find it somewhat amusing that my current favourite song (Apologise, Timbaland ft. Onerepublic and by ‘featuring’ I mean they sing the whole damn song) sounds like he is singing “It’s too late, to poltergeist” and – OH NO YOU DON’T COME INTO MY BEDROOM BEE – (a bee just nearly flew into my room) – as I was saying, and it’s also amusing because I was only listening to it so I could show my friends what I meant about the whole poltergeist thing. And then it ended up as my favourite song.
So, I am now going to drag my sorry ass out of bed (at 11:44 AM) and beg for the internet to be turned on so I can make this blog I am writing posts for already.
So, I just saw this question on Quora: “If you don’t value your own life enough to carry a gun and protect yourself, why should you expect others to value this life you will not defend?” And I feel it’s better to judge it on here because not many people will see this. So firstly: what the fuck!? You are seriously telling me you think everyone should carry guns or nobody should respect their existence? What?! I just… God. *turns to scream into hoodie* GOD, PLEASE, IF YOU EXIST, KILL ME, I BEG YOU. This, Quora, is what makes me want to give up on humanity. I mean, I’m not hating on whoever wrote the question but God. Thank heavens for Onerepublic, calming the flames of my hysteria.
Another thing on Quora that annoys me a bit is the questions about God. Now, I mean, one of my best friends is a christian, and I love her loads. But those people who are like, “You should believe in God. I hate you because you don’t” and “the bible says the world was created in five days, but people say the world was formed over millions of years. How can this be?” Just make me facepalm. Gah. I mean, I love Quora and Quorians, but sometimes it makes me wanna die.
By the way, I have an update. I have one follower on Quora! Woo! Today, one, tomorrow, five hundred! (Just kidding) lol.
Life, without music, would be a dull life. Music? I love you!
Oh, and, for the record, my posts will be randomly filled with tons of unrelated stuff because I’m limited to one post a day.
You know those people who hear a song, and then start whistling one line over and over, but they get it wrong? Agh. Makes me wanna die.
Confession time. So, let’s just say, maths is not my strong point. I mean, I can add one and one, obvs, but yeah. So my brother was trying to teach me how to multiply by hundreds (I knew how to do that already) and I kind of joked around a little bit. And guess what? He believed me when I said I didn’t know what a zero was. This was literally that part in the convo:
Him: do you know what a zero is?
Me: no, I don’t know what a 0 is.
And he still told me. It took my mother messaging him saying:
Please know that Azzy is winding you up about the zero thing
For him to realise. I mean, I guess I should have been offended, but I nearly fell off the sofa laughing. I mean, come on! I had told him earlier that day I knew how to count up to a hundred in sign language. Yes, I’m serious.
By the way, about the reason I was able to get a profile picture on Quora even though I have a phone. I was just randomly scrolling, looking at everything, when suddenly the computer version of my profile came up. I kind of freaked a bit, then I added a profile picture. When I tried to get it back, it wouldn’t come up. So yeah, no idea.
Sitting in the car outside the supermarket. Just saw the most adorable Schnauzer ever. Watching people go about their daily lives. Woman in pink. Man in grey, oh, there’s my parents. Which means… FOOD!!! Woman in green. Woman in grey trousers.
“In the Bible it mentions that God created the Earth, the Sun and all living things, so who exactly created the dinosaurs?” Quora. Please.
” My 14 year old daughter cussed at me yesterday. How can I kick her out of the house without hurting her feelings?” I just.. can’t… *scream*
I remember asking my dearest friend about the song ‘Purple rain’ and him saying that, although the song ‘Purple Rain’ is pretty nice, it’s about being high. And it makes me laugh every time I hear the song. The girl he was singing about could have been an elf for all we know. Or a goblin. Or a pig. Just picture Prince in the middle of a muddy field in the pouring rain, crooning ‘Purple Rain’ to a pig. Ah. My friend also said he’d seen rainbow rain. Interesting. And much prettier than purple… though he never did specify the shade of purple. Regardless, it is not my favourite colour.
I bet nobody reading this has to wonder what kind of drunk they are. You’ve probably been drunk, or are drunk right now, which has brought you to my blog here. I mean, I’d have found out by now if I wasn’t allergic to alcohol. Yah.
‘Blind Date’ ended with a Coca Cola bottle.
Hope is a four letter word… Onerepublic, I love you.
I could be doing something productive with my life right now… imagine. Actually getting up and doing something. Nightmare. Instead of moping in a hoodie and eating strawberries while scrolling through Quora? Imagine.
I just realised, Quasimodo never got the girl. The girl went for the blond guy… WHAT KIND OF AN EXAMPLE IS THIS SETTING!??? okay, maybe I’m overreacting, but seriously. I mean, I’m pretty sure I would have went for Quasi… who dafuck am I kidding. So far, my relationships have consisted of long blonde hair and blue eyes. It’s bad. But, one brown haired guy once. Still, we’re terrible. Poor Quasi.
I am about to post this blog.
So, so far, I’ve rather regretted my name, cuz it’s like so many other peoples names, but eh.
I’ll see you guys tomorrow.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s